Flunking The Personality Test

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

-The Teacher (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 NIV)

“I get no respect.” – Rodney Dangerfield·

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Received by email June 29:

Rachel,

Thank you for your interest in the bookkeeping position. Although we are impressed with your qualifications, we are pursuing a candidate who more closely fits our requirements. Please watch for future job openings with our company that might be applicable to your skills.

Best of luck in your job search,

Amanda

Translation:


Rachel,

Nothing beats the internet for weeding out the misfits. Oh sure, you’re probably good at crunching numbers, as your resume’ suggests. But remember the second page of our application? Those cute little boxes you checked off told us all we needed to know about your personality. After the laughter subsided, we revised our help-wanted ad so as not to attract your type. Based on your profile, we predict you’ll soon be living under a picnic table in the park. You should fit right as most of your neighbors will also be over fifty. Good luck, honey. You’ll need it.

Amanda

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Dear Amanda,

Thank you for your timely response. Since your help-wanted ad has been running online for several weeks, I can only assume I am but one of many to flunk your personality test. Fortunately, the God who created me has the perfect plan for my life. He will gently plunk me down in just the right job at just the right time. Meanwhile, I’ll keep praying and doing what’s in front of me each day. Rather than stressing over my identity quirks and advancing age,  I will focus on what God has to say about me. Please see the attached document.

Rachel

Attached document:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” -King David (Psalm 139:13-14 NIV)

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the work of your hands.” -King David (Psalm 138:8 NIV)

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PS: What do you mean, who is Rodney Dangerfield?

4 comments

  1. That was great, Rachel! And I so relate, being in a job search myself and with also a dream to write. Your quoted scripture about the Lord knitting us together reminded me of the book I’m reading now by Debbie Macomber, called “Knit Together”. It is about acheiving God’s dream for your life. Have you read it? I haven’t gotten very far in it yet, but happened to find it on the discount bookshelf at Barnes & Noble “by accident” while shopping for a birthday gift for my son. On the way to the store I had prayed and cried in my car, feeling like all my dreams were for nothing and that God had let me down. When I found that book, I knew God was telling me otherwise. Anyway, thanks for sharing that. I’m going to remember it each time I get a job rejection! Or publishing rejection, for that matter, too!

    God bless!

  2. annie says:

    Very funny, very clever! Loved the message, too!

  3. annie says:

    Very funny, and very clever Rachel!

  4. Nancy says:

    What wit!! I really enjoyed the laugh! Great response. We should all use that opportunity to share His words. Thanks :o)

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